I know sometimes it can feel like you are a “Hamster-In-The-Relationship-Wheel” going around and around when it comes to trying to find a sustainable, loving, long lasting relationship.

Some people find being single soul destroying, frustrating, lonely and even embarrassing - especially when the dreaded question is asked;

“Are you still single?”

By distant family members, long lost friends or acquaintances.

The Mindset

When this happens to you – instead of feeling like it would be better if the ground opened up and swallowed you or blushing with embarrassment because you feel like a looser, emotionally inadequate or a social misfit - take a moment to look at your life in this way;

Being single is not a condition or disease. It is just a point of time in your life when you don’t have a Partner; whether by choice or by circumstances. And, it lasts for as long or short as it lasts. It’s that simple.

Stressing that you will never find the right person for you, or worrying about what people think only leads to making the wrong partner choices as you have already experienced, because you need to fill what you perceive to be that empty space or roll in your life.

The Secret To Being A Happy Single

Liking Yourself: The major key factor to being happy as a single and increasing your chances of finding the right person for you, is liking yourself as a person, and stop putting yourself and/or others around you down.

When you understand that no matter where you are in your life you are always the decision maker on the outcome of any situation. Not playing the Singles blame game. “Oh, it was their fault that .... (fill in the blanks)….. happened to me!”, you will take control of your life emotionally, which in turn makes you very attractive as a potential partner. Nothing is uglier than a person who continually complains about how their life sucks!

Taking responsibility for your part in everything you do (including the parts that aren’t very joyous) leads to a very well balanced person - which attracts other well balanced people.

Make The Effort: Meet other singles and create friendships. We have all experienced friends coming in and out of our lives because they are single and then leaving because they are now in a relationship. There is no problem with that. All you need to do is just meet more people, so that you can create new single friends to go out with, or just enjoy each others company.

One way you can do this by being on a dating site or social networking site. There are some truly wonderful people on these platforms that are also looking to develop friendships. However, keep your safety in mind if you do this. You are after all meeting a stranger, and friendships just like relationships, need to grow slowly.

The Impact You Have On Your World

I have long said that singles are the greatest “sneezers” in the world after Oprah Winfrey. What I mean by this is that Oprah will say something and it impacts many, many people. When you are single – you do the same.

If you are looking forward to a date – life is exciting and amazing. You impact those around you by your attitude – being happy. If the date didn’t go so well, you had a few dates that fizzled out, or you are sick to the back teeth of being by yourself – your attitude is negative, moody and dark. This also impacts everyone around you and unfortunately most of the time you don’t even realize it. I call it the ripple effect.

Look to enjoy being single for the period of time that you are in this lifestyle – there is nothing wrong with you because you are. Being single is a time for healing old wounds, self growth and getting very clear on you as a person, what you want in life and who you want to be in it. A time for reflection and re-grouping. It’s a fabulous time in your life if you choose to look at it this way.

So, now we come full circle. If you want to attract emotionally stable, happy people into your life and a well grounded, stable, loving relationship, it boils down to two things; your attitude to your life and loving you for the truly amazing person that you are. After all - like really does attract like.

Want to add your thoughts? Please feel free to do so.

Smiles to you,

Yvonne Rice