How is it that for most people 1 little day in 365 of them validates their emotional success or failure? And how on earth did we get to the point where this 1 day of the year seems to define our entire self-worth as a person by whether we are single or in a relationship?
Does it really matter if you are single on this day? No. It doesn’t matter and here are the reason’s why.
What Is Valentine’s Day Anyway?
Because we humans tend to be so caught up in life, (think of how fast this year has gone already?) we create special occasions and celebrations to remind us to stop, think and be grateful for people apart from ourselves. We do this by creating a calendar event that happens at the same time every year. Simple, then we don’t forget right?
Why do we do this, what’s the point? We do it because it creates awareness to not be so involved and self absorbed in our own wants and needs, and to remember the feelings, wants, needs and contributions of others. These people may be in our lives now (Birthday’s, Anniversaries etc for example) or their life has made a difference in the past to the way we now live; Special Religious Days, Remembrance Days (and the list goes on, but you get the idea).
Valentine’s Day is one of those days. The sole purpose of Valentine’s Day however, is to remind us to stop and think about the partner who loves and supports us. To acknowledge the contribution they have and do make to our life and to inspire us to make the effort, to show them the appreciation and gratitude they deserve for doing this. It’s meant to be a celebration to each other.
But What About Me? I’m Single!
Good question, what about you? Given the meaning of what Valentine’s Day is all about, why would you beat yourself up because you don’t have a partner or a date? More to the point; Why are you desperately chasing a date to make sure you are not alone on this particular night? Because in reality, how do you celebrate the gratitude for each other and what you contribute to each other’s life – if you are with a virtual stranger? You can’t, so don’t try and fill the void just for one day of the year.
Having a date or a partner to celebrate Valentine’s Day does not define you as a worthy mate and it was never designed to do this. What is does do in this day and age, is just create a self-imposed expectation of how worthy you think you are.
Unfortunately for those in relationships, many will be waiting for that diamond ring or commitment to appear sometime during the night – that all important question – “Will you marry me?” If this doesn’t happen, it is seen as an indication of how important they are to the other person. What about all the rest of the days of the year that their partner tells them that they love them? Do they just get thrown out of the window? Just something to think about.
How Do You Get Over The Expectations?
Now that you understand that this day is designed for you to show your appreciation to those who support you in life - do exactly that! Gather your single friends and celebrate each other. If you can’t get together physically meet on your computer. Have a Skype or MSN party together. You are an amazing person, never forget that.
And besides, who says that you have to play by the traditional rules anyway?
Smiles to you,
Yvonne Rice
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