Wishful thinking.

Let’s not forget the number one burning question, “I’m smart, accomplished and pretty. Why am I still single?” 

When I ask if they have invested in their love lives as much as they have in their businesses – I am met with silence. To this day, no one has ever said yes. Can we really expect to have this amazing love life or relationship if we never give it any attention?

This is all wishful thinking and reminds me of something I say often,

“If you don’t have the love life you desire, you have not 

made the decision to have it. You made a wish.”

Countless female entrepreneurs reach their 40’s, 50’s and even 60’s married to their businesses, agendas and bank accounts. None of which keep you warm at night, cook you dinner to celebrate the three new clients you attracted or support you in your business when you feel you just can’t go on.

We are not losing freedom when we add love to our lives, we are actually liberating ourselves.

There is an elite group of successful women who know something about 98% of American women in business will never know.

Curious?

When I was living in Europe, I noticed Italian and French women had a secret. It was something I took for granted and honestly had forgotten about – until I returned to the US.

I love my country, but I’m a no-fluff kind of woman. You can’t deny that the endless dead-end dating, the so-called high-caliber guys who turn out to be creeps (just watch the Millionaire Matchmaker) and the hours you waste getting ready for these nerve-shattering dates (time I’d rather put into my business) are the cause of dating fatigue and burnout.

Even if you haven’t experienced it personally, we all have a girlfriend who told us she was going to take a break from dating – indefinitely.

When I returned to the US and started dating, I attracted great guys – actually amazing guys. However, qualifying them was time-consuming. Even if you aren’t a single mom building her business (like I was at the time), successful women don’t have a minute to waste.

The tedious American one-on-one dating lifestyle was causing me fatigue. To avoid burnout, I stopped. Yes, I stopped dating – altogether.

A jaw-dropping thing happened!

I suddenly started meeting tons of upscale men and I spent more time in my business and with my daughter – and had an incredible amount of fun doing it all! Pleasure and balance returned to my life.

Hello stress-free love life and bye bye burnout! The code was cracked.

So what was it is that Italian and French women do differently? How was it that I never once had to endure a dead-end date. How was it that I never had to go out with a man I didn’t alreadyknow was qualified? I didn’t even have so much as a profile online.

Seriously.

Here’s the astonishing fact. In Europe, I was able to avoid all of the above, yet always had an endless stream of quality men waiting to take me out.

I’m not telling you this to brag; I want to let you know the magnitude of the fabulous love life that is possible for you. This is why I dedicated the last four years of my life to being a love rainmaker for amazing women entrepreneurs like you.

So what was the secret? Drum roll, please…

Pleasure.

That’s right. Pleasure. I’m not talking about the pleasure you have in the bedroom – although that’s a part of it. I’m talking about the pleasure you get when you’re living life fully. Doing has its place, but the problem is that we’ve forgotten to include the being and enjoying.

True balance in life = doing + enjoying + being. All are needed. There is no ‘equal’ time given. It’s like a scale where the weights vary at any given time and you compensate to keep it level. You have to learn to tap into your senses – your sensuality and be who you need to be at thatmoment – throwing away the guilt in the process.

The doing is your business life. The enjoying is something you always should be feeling. When something is no longer fun, if you find yourself getting frustrated or if you want to take a 10-minute break with your daughter. Do it! When you come back, you’ll be more focused.

Before I rediscovered this lifestyle, I would push, push, and push through a project. At the end of the day, I was stressed out and didn’t feel like a winner. I felt guilty about not haven’t spent much time with my daughter. Either way, I lost.

Once I started living in true balance, miracles abounded. When I went and spent that hour with her or if I took a 20-minute break to add laughter to my work day (watching Seinfeld), I was more focused and refreshed when I returned to my project. Clients were drawn to me at events. What used to take me ten hours to push through – now takes just two or three to breeze through. Best of all, I attracted the most fabulous, loving man I’ve ever met into my life. He supports me in everything I do.

That is how huge an impact adding pleasure to my life has had. Life is good!

So if you want to attract love, you need to add more pleasure to your life. Get offline and get in line. Go to the theatre. When you go to a seminar, ditch the conservative garb! Put on something that makes you feel feminine and beautiful. People will still respect you. When your body craves ice cream, have a scoop. When the computer screen hurts your eyes, take a walk. Just listen to what your body wants – then do it.

Struggle is optional. This is the energy that flooded my life with partners, clients and  my amazing beau.

Life is now. This is it!