How To Have Interracial Dating Success | 1295 Views
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Posted : Thursday, Nov 18, 2010 - Rhonda J Cort
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Dating outside your race, nationality or culture can be amazing, even thrilling. It’s a time of discovery and should definitely be used to broaden your view of the world.However, most people experience a great deal of anxiety due to fear of the unknown. If this sounds like you, it’s your lucky day. Here are 3 keys you need to keep in mind and things will flow smoothly.
Be respectful
Your partner or date is likely to share some things that seem strange. Do your best not to be shocked or blurt out any form of objection. Remember, in your country there are things other cultures would view as weird or even offensive. For example, when I was living in Italy, people would ask me how much I paid on my lease or how much money I made in my business. Being raised in the United States, that is a little to invasive for us and is actually rude to ask someone you just met. However, I noted it was a common thing to do. When you are in other countries or around people from other cultures, there are things you must do to respect their culture (like wearing a head covering in a Muslim country or not killing a cow in India). No matter how strange you find it, you must respect that. Those are absolutes. There are then the gray areas. Things that are not offensive if you don’t agree. You are free to exclude yourself if it against your beliefs or if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Someone I just met or barely know asking me how much my business makes definitely makes me feel uncomfortable. Here’s how I handled it, I said, “I don’t feel comfortable disclosing that information to you. In my culture, that is very personal and it’s not something we share freely.” I didn’t say it was weird or they were nosey. What you must do is never say anything disrespectful of the other person’s culture. If you keep this in mind, you will never have to worry about slipping up and hurting your new partner or date’s feelings.
Be open-minded
For any intercultural or interracial relationship to be successful, one must be open-minded. You are going to be learning things you might feel are strange or may make you uncomfortable. The most important thing to do is to not be judgmental and to be respectful as we talked about in the first key. If the point in question is something that impedes your being together, that is fine. It happens all the time, however don’t overlook the opportunity for growth. For example, Sweden is heavily atheist. I believe in a higher power, yet I had a few acquaintances who were atheist. I wanted to understand why this was so as I had never been in a country like this ever. I spoke to dozens of people about it and found out that there was a severe joining of church and state. The people had been repressed religiously. I understood why people’s disbelief of God and religion was inexistent in general. While we were never going to agree spiritually, we learned from each other and it was an enriching experience. You don’t have to agree with, support or convert to any belief you do not wish to; just be open-minded about everything, judge no one and you will grow as a person. So no matter how different or strange something may seem to you, try to learn why things are done that way. Ask about the history behind it. This is the type of thinking that debunks racism, prejudice and stereotyping.
Be curious
When you are curious not only is it one of the greatest forms of respect, it also makes your date or partner feel more connected to you. Who doesn’t want to share the best their country has to offer? We all do. When living in and visiting other countries, I wanted to know how things worked there. I felt like a little child in a sweets shop. Everything was bright, shiny and could give me a rich experience. This is probably the most important quality you need to have in order to enjoy a successful interracial or intercultural relationship. Ask questions and dig deeper when he or she talks to you. Be genuinely interested. Ask about where they grew up. Compare customs and holidays. Remember, this is a huge opportunity for you to grow as a person and show how great a person you are!
Diplomatic duties
When interacting with your date, keep in mind that you are a diplomat from your culture, race or country. Be careful what you do and say. I’m not saying you can’t be yourself. You must be yourself, but you also have to remember you are their liaison to your culture, race or country. What you do could form their opinion for good. When you are respectful, open-minded and curios, you cannot help but leave a good impression.
Got a question, just ask I’m here to help you
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Posted on: Tuesday, May 3, 2011 07:35:48 AM |
Meeting your true love in a foreign country is never easy. What should you do when you fall in love with a Chinese woman? You should prepare well before proposing to her.
1. Learn some mandarin. It a good way to show your respect and sincerity to her. How about start with “I love you”?
2. Learn some Chinese culture. Even if you plan to move her to your country, understanding her culture is a necessity.
3. Have a good talk with her. She will go through culture shock if you plan on moving her to your country, so make sure to comfort her that you’ll be stay right beside her through thick and thin.
4. Meet her family. When you marry a Chinese lady, you marry the family, too. So don’t just communicate with your lover, communicate with her parents.
Maybe those things are easy for you to achieve, but be sure to let her know that you’re really sincere. If you’re always trying hard and both stay committed, you should have a long and happy marriage with your Chinese wife. |
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