Before you sign up on ANY dating site, click onto to their Terms and Conditions. You will be asked to agree to them before you are allowed to sign up. Read them. This is extremely important! Please don’t just click “I agree” and not read them—and here are some of the reasons why you should do so.
Tip No. 1
Read the terms and conditions of the site managers. Some sites have a pre-ticked box that says you give them permission to use your details any way they see fit. I know I don’t want my details sent out into cyber-space for everyone or anyone to use, including spammers, and especially being sent emails containing viruses. So please read the fine print!
Tip No. 2
Some sites ask you to fill in the approximate amount of money you earn. Do not do this—there is no need for you to do it. It can and will be displayed on your profile for anyone to see (besides, it’s none of their or anyone else’s business). You will also be asked to give your date of birth when you sign up to create an account (profile) with the dating or adult site. I would avoid all sites that show any of this information on your profile.
If someone wants to con you, all they have to do is contact you, and it can be very easy for them to gain your confidence over time and get your full name and address. This is also how identity fraud occurs—someone stealing your identity and using it as their own. They only need your name and date of birth.
Tip No.3
There are dating sites that ask you to pay up-front and become a member before you can actively participate on their sites. This is quite normal, but please read very carefully what you are signing up for. If you are paying by credit card,andif you only want to sign up for a certain period of time, make sure that you tick the box or click the link that says you do not want it automatically renewed when your membership expires.
Tip No. 4
Make sure that the price they are promoting to you at the beginning of their site is actually what you will be paying, and that this price allows you to use their site in its entirety—or whatever level of membership it does entitle you to.
Tip No. 5
Dating sites ask you to fill in a questionnaire such as your age, gender, height, hobbies and interests, et cetera. This is designed to let people know a bit about you and is there to help you. We will get into this in a while when we look at how to create a profile, but for now we are just looking at what the dating sites have to offer you. Some dating sites have a questionnaire that they ask you to fill in, with all sorts of questions that are not related to creating your dating site profile.
You may think, or be led to think, it is a personality questionnaire. This is not always a personality assessment and you don’t have to fill it in!Read what these questions are for, and if it really is a personality assessment questionnaire, then this is a service that the dating site is providing to you for your assistance. They will explain this on their site. I would have no hesitation in filling it in as long as they explain in detail how this assessment is done. But beware: some of these assessmentsarejust a marketing tool for the site managers and are not designed to assist you at all.
Tip No. 6
Read what services the dating sites have to offer. It is truly amazing what is available now, with the advancements in technology, for your enjoyment and safety. Sites vary in what they provide their members, and these are a few of the services that some dating sites provide:
Email - This is where you can email anonymously through the dating site. The only thing that the receiver of your email will get is your profile name and a link to view it. We will cover this in Your Dating Site Profile.
Photos - You can upload your photo into your profile. Some sites allow only a few and some allow many. We will cover this in Your Dating Site Profile.
IMs - Instant Messaging is instantly being able to message another member who is online at the same time as you. It’s a great way to communicate in safety while remaining anonymous. However, some dating sites’ IMs are very slow to respond and drop out, so testing them is the only way to find out how good they are.
Video uploading - You can upload a short video of yourself for other members to see.
Text messages or SMS - This is where the dating site informs you via your mobile or cell phone that you have a new contact waiting for you in your email inbox.
Webcam to webcam - You can actually see via your computer and chat in real time to another member who is online.
Speed dating - These sites inform you of speed dating events organised by the site at pre-arranged venues. You need to register on these sites to participate in their events.
Virtual speed dating - Virtual speed dating is a way to meet people via your webcam and have a few minutes telling them about yourself before moving on to the next person, and so on.
Virtual or avatar dating - Some sites provide you with a two- or three-dimensional character that you can make to represent you. After you have created the virtual you, you are able to go on dates with other site members in this virtual world.
Phone2phone - This means you don’t have to give out your phone number to another member, but you can actually speak with them on your phone without their seeing your telephone number.
Personality matching - You can fill in a questionnaire that has been designed by a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist to look at your personality so they can help match you with someone who will suit you.
Sensuality matching - This is the same principle as personality matching, except that it works out your sex drive. I think this is great because, even if you are matched in your personalities, you may not be sexually compatible—which is really important in any relationship. If you both have the same expectations, it’s much easier.
Send a card - You can send to another member a card that you have chosen from the dating site’s card library.
Send music - You can send to another member a favourite song from the dating site’s music library.
Singles events - These events are organised by the dating site to be held at a particular venue at a specific time so that members can meet other members.
Singles travel - These are organised holidays arranged via the dating site for members to go on a designated holiday package with other members of the site who would also like to go.
Unsure? - If you are unsure about a dating site, you have the right to email them through their contact details and ask questions. I would. If they don’t have a Contact Us section, I would be alarmed, especially if you need to pay to be a member. So ask. If they don’t answer you, don’t use them.
So it really is worthwhile doing a little research and finding out which dating site(s) will suit you. As you can see, with all those facilities available to you, not only do you dramatically increase your options and chances of finding the one for you, but you are doing it in a safe and fun environment as well. How good is that!
What have your experiences been like using online dating?
Smiles to you,
Yvonne Rice
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